a long time ago we used to be friends but I haven't thought of you lately at all


memories are like crumbs.
for a while you keep them, because you would like to have access to them when you feel like it. and every once in a while you want them so bad you turn the bag upside down and dump them all into your mouth at once. but usually, you hang on for a little while and then eventually they get brushed away, forgotten and sucked into a vacuum.


i don't feel like i'm at all in the same dimension as everyone else. its like i'm looking in a mirror and everyone else is clear and i'm blurry. and nothing is really happening because i'm observing the wrong dimension. its all extremely complicated. its stressful. its scary. it would be nice to get things right for once. it would be nice if everything was a lie and the real dimension was what things should be

things i don't want to forget

awkward hellos and holding back tears. five mile drives, confessions, sneaky deer, hippo ponds and mustache trees. Meaningful conversations. growling tummies, fishwiches, corn dogs, dirty windshields, and switching shoes. getting all the red lights, throwing things (religious emblems, moss, chains and the like) off of bridges, how to use my camera and pictures in the sky, leaving a very stinky bag of garbage on the street, lifelong promises, the BNI and dates that don't change digits (090909.) Really long parking lot hugs. Getting ready to drive away only to realize your shoes don't match. more long parking lot hugs. Remembering a friendship bracelet that you keep forgetting. even more long hugs.tears shed on the interstate and most important...a really good friend.


i think what makes this all so hard is knowing its going to get so much worse before it gets better