Artificial Intelligence

Last week my zune broke. For some reason, possibly because of mild trauma (being shoved violently into my locker,) my zune shut off. When i turned it back on the loading screen would appear but for some reason it couldn't get past that screen. The loading screen apparently drains the battery in a matter of minutes. So after the battery dies i plug it in, charge the bad boy up, turn it on and the same thing. This pattern was repeated until i gave up. I call this an electronic coma (EC).

I hadn't yet decided to pull the plug on my good friend yet, so i left him plugged in for a couple of days.

By Thursday last week my zune had come back to the land of the living. It had awaken from the EC and was back to working.

Something was different though.

Now normally my zune displays a sort of artificial intelligence(AI) and telepathy. For a year it was been linked to my brain waves and always played exactly what fit my mood. Occasionally it would throw in something a little weird. Which was like it was saying "hey, try listening to this, you haven't heard it in a LOOOOONNNNGGGGG time." which i appreciated because then i get a little more variety in my daily listenings.

But after Newton(my zune, not my cat) came out of it's EC it no longer played any normal music at all. Just all the weird random stuff other people had put on my computer and things i just couldn't bare to listen to at all.

I call this Electronic Amnesia (EA.)

It was as if Newton(the zune) had completely forgotten who i was and what i was like. It seemed as though we had never met, never used the same brain waves. We just couldn't connect. I did my best to reintroduce it to familiar things, places and people.

Then today, glorious tuesday, at work it's memory returned. The EA had vanished completely. Almost as though nothing had ever happened. We were back together again, Newton(the zune) playing all the perfect music, never missing a single beat. Not one weird song played all day. It may have been just getting back to work that freed it from the clutches of EA, the smell of cleaning supplies and the sounds of running water, vacuum cleaners and soft scrub bottle farts. Whatever it was it doesn't matter, i just thank the lord we've got our old Newton(the zune) back! Me and Newton(the zune and the cat) are an unstoppable team now! Stronger than ever!

This strange phenomenon has proven to me that microsoft has created a computer with a degree AI possibly unknowingly. If they are aware of the Zune's AI i'd be worried that we're being spied on a lot more than we think.

But at any rate i'm just glad it's working and back to normal.

true story. the end.


artificial intelligence

the capacity of a computer to perform operations analogous to learning and decision making in humans

e⋅lec⋅tron⋅ic am⋅ne⋅sia

[i-lek-tron-ik, am-nee-zhuh]
loss of a large block of interrelated memories or data; complete or partial loss of memory or data caused by trauma, shock, etc.

e⋅lec⋅tron⋅ic co⋅ma

[i-lek-tron-ik, koh-muh]
–noun, plural -mas.
a state of prolonged unconsciousness, including a lack of response to stimuli, from which it is impossible to rouse an electronic device.


communication between minds by some means other than sensory perception.