10.04.2005

it starts so easy.

i had a dream once that time wasn't time.
the government controlled everyday.
they made days as long as they wanted.
they made weeks as short as they could.
mondays were rarely ever really mondays.
no day of the week was ever repeated.
monday would be tuesday.
tuesday sunday.
wednesday friday.
etc. etc.

i'm affriad of that dream.
what if it were true?
then i would have even less of a concept of time.
i already forget the day too often.
what if the day forgot me?

that was a real dream. it was scary.


-------------EDIT 9:24pm--------------------------------


so shortly after i posted this, i went to take a nap.
i was awakened by a phone call. i answered, it was my boss.
i don't even remember the first half of the call. all i know is that she
wanted me to open tomorrow if the girl who is supposed to can't.
so here's what i was thinking, and i must've sounded
compeltely insane. i thought when i woke up was wednesday morning.
and she wanted me to work thursday morning.
and i kept confusing myself until finally
i asked what day it was. i explained that i had been napping.
i must've sounded
completely insane.
i was so disoriented.
this scares me a great deal.

i only remember one other time this happened. i was a little kid. it was about the same time of year. i think i was sick. i fell asleep around 6pm just like today. and then i woke up at like 8 i had no idea if it was 8am or pm. and no one would tell me which it was they just laughed. i was so worried. i had no idea. i had to wait and see what the sun did to know what time of day it was. DISORIENTATION.